Frustrated?
by DaphHime
Summary: When saying things just aren't enough, it's best to just let it out on paper...and hide in an ally. Gintoki/Sacchan Second part is up!
1. Let it all out on paper!

A/N: My first new story on this site! This story is for the 30kisses community on LJ; Prompt #2: News; letter. It's been awhile since I've written and published fanfiction and definitely the first time for this fandom so please be kind. Feedback and crit is love!

Edited to fix some typos.

Enjoy!

Waki-san once told me "If you want to express your feelings, it's best to just let it out on paper." My feelings have been very conflicted lately. I know have no time for love when I take on these dangerous assassination jobs. No time to find a man and fall in love and certainly no time to raise a family. I honestly thought I wouldn't have a problem with it.

The weeks after I met Gin-san were filled with so many strange emotions. These feelings were a bizarre mixture of happiness, love, comfort…lust. I thought it would pass, I thought it would go away, you know, like a bad cold. But this wound up being more like a nasty stomach flu. The kind that constantly nags at you and you suppress the need to vomit till you finally do. A gross yet very apt analogy. This wasn't going to go away unless I vomited.

I knew I had to make a choice. So there I was, sitting at my table, a blank piece of parchment and an ink pen in hand. I had no clue what to say, not to the man that affected my life so much. I didn't have to send this time him did I?

I shrugged to myself and started writing.

_Dearest Gin-san._

Whoa! "Dearest?" Is that too forward? I don't think so; Gin-san is very dear to me, more than natto. No, more than anything.

Nonetheless, even though I wasn't going to send it, I still crossed off "Dearest" just to be safe.

_Gin-san_

There, that's slightly better. Calling him dearest was too sappy anyway, not my style.

_To this day I still have no clue as to the circumstances of our paths crossing. Hell I don't even remember how I got into your futon. Though I am disappointed that what you thought happened didn't happen…_

What was that!? Okay, yeah, I do want Gin-san to screw me until I can't remember my own name, but I didn't really want it then. At least I don't think I did. My mind was too focused on the bind I was in, and not the super wonderful literal binds. Hastily I crossed off that sentence. If I keep second guessing myself like this, this letter would be a very short one.

_Hell I don't even remember how I got into your futon. All I know was that I was running from something and that I needed your help._

There, that was better, more to the point. Guys like that. Right?

_You just seemed like the type of person who would help me no matter what. No questions asked._

I examined my work so far, not bad. Nothing wrong with stroking a guy's ego, _even though there were other things on Gin-san I would rather stroke._

AH! Why did I write that down?! I quickly crumpled up the now really messed up letter and found a new piece of parchment. I re-wrote everything I had said until that last stupid sentence.

_Gin-san,_

_To this day I still have no clue as to the circumstances of our paths crossing. Hell I don't even remember how I got into your futon. All I know was that I was running from something and that I needed your help. You just seemed like the type of person who would help me no matter what. No questions asked._

Much better. I must say I felt rather proud of myself then. Something was missing I guess. I added…

_I guess what I'm getting at is, I never had a chance to properly thank you for saving my life. It's just that…_

I hovered the pen over the words I just wrote. Should I? I think he knows already. Saying that I loved him would be stating the obvious. It's not like didn't scream it out the window every morning. Okay, maybe only once or twice, but that's it!

_…I trust you completely. There's no other man in this world I would rather have tie me up. You were the first to ever bring out such feelings from me. I haven't been able to get you out of my mind since I met you and I..._

I paused yet again. Should I say it?

_…love you Gin-san. I just hope you understand._

_Love,_

_Sacchan_

I breathed a huge sigh of relief. That felt good, that felt really good. I carefully folded up the paper and sealed it with a kiss. I placed it back on the table, staring at it. I momentarily thought about sending it to him.

But that can wait.

It was nighttime now, and I decided to turn in. I slid the letter under my pillow, in hopes of dreaming of my Gin-san.


	2. Hide out in an ally on garbage day!

Disclaimer: Gintama and its characters belong to the awesome Hedeki Sorachi

Notes: The not so long awaited second part! Sa-chan's POV still. I might even make a third part since I'm kind of getting into this, if I can think of anything good for the third part.

I woke up the next morning feeling really, really good. During the night I had an absolutely amazing dream about Gin-san. Oh, just thinking about it is making tingle all over. Especially in places too embarrassing to comment on.

With a spring in my step I cleaned up and got dressed. Then an idea just came to me. I took the letter from under my pillow and tucked it into the folds of my kimono. Yes! I'm going to do it! Through hell or high water, Gin-san will be mine!

I made my way to Gin-san's place in record time it seemed. The skipping probably helped, never mind the stares I got from various people. They've probably never seen a female ninja in love! I perched in my normal spot; in-between the snack house and whoever the hell else lived next-door. They weren't Gin-san so I didn't care.

I took out the letter and examined it carefully. A conflicting thought occurred to me. Gin-san being the wonder S that he is will probably just throw it away as soon as he found out whom it was from. As much as that thought turned me on…his strong hands crumpling the paper, face twisted in that wonderful domineering sneer, deep voice hurling abuses at me- Ah! Stop it Sa-chan! This isn't the time to be getting turned on like this!

This letter was way too important to just throw away, no matter how sexy the metal image was. I thought about just crossing my name out, but the content of the letter made it painfully obvious that it was me who wrote it. No, the best idea was to just wait till he was in a good mood. But when would that be? I'd have to watch carefully…

"Oi! It's you stalker!"

I didn't have to wait long. Startled, I jumped just a bit in the air, and the note fell to the ground.

There was Gin-san, still in his sleeping clothes (oh how I fantasized about taking them off him so many times!) In one hand, he had a garbage bag and a stack of old Jump magazines in the other.

"How fitting," Gin-san said. "That you would be hiding amongst the trash." I blushed at his harsh statement. Then I saw a gust of wind blow the letter to his feet.

"Oh crap!" I thought. "This is it! I'm dead! He's not going to punish me in the wonderful sadistic way either! No! He'll make sure I'm gone for good!"

He picked up the letter and started to read it. With each sentence he read my heart sank faster and faster. I curled up on the ground with my hands over my head, preparing for the inevitable blow.

There was a long silence, an unnervingly long silence. A silence so long and heavy, you could hear a ten-pound needle drop. I was so nervous that that metaphor didn't make sense!

Though the corner of my eye I could see him put down the letter, his expression unchanging. I closed my eyes again, bracing myself.

But instead of the normal blow to the head or kick to the butt, I was being picked up by my scarf. I coughed and choked a bit, trying my best to go up with him. He cupped my chin in his hands, forcing me to look directly at him.

"Is this…this letter…true?"

I swallowed hard and nodded meekly, as M-like as I possibly could. What else could I do? "Yes, it's true. All of it…" I cast my eyes downward and flinched, still expecting to be hit. I suddenly understood if he didn't want to see me anymore.

Then I felt his arm push me toward him, making me turn my head. I could feel something very soft and warm against my lips. He…was kissing me!

My mind, could not comprehend what just happened and before I could respond in kind, he backed away. Gin-san's mouth moved closer to my ear. A shiver ran down my spine as I felt his breath against my skin.

"Don't you dare tell anyone that this happened. You got that?" Gin-san whispered in my ear. I nearly screamed as I felt him pinch my rear. That familiar S personality returned!

I fell to the ground, knees too weak to support my lust filled body.

Before he left, he turned to me and said, "Meet me out here later tonight. See ya."

He walked away, leaving me wondering what the hell just happened. I only just noticed that he took the letter with him.


End file.
